Again, I cannot thank you all enough for all your support! It has truly amazed me! My blog is being shared all around the world and I'm so grateful for this! So thank you, thank you!!
My last post was about hoping being a part of healing. Which we all know that without hope, we can never heal. (In any situation).
I've been sitting here contemplating on what to write today... And for some reason, I feel like I just need to talk about how Lyme makes you feel. Not only physically, but mentally. Lyme is a very challenging disease. Physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Some days you feel like you can almost conquer the world. Other days, getting out of bed is a major achievement. Like today for instance, I'm still in my pj's laying on the couch with zero motivation to do anything. I'm beyond exhausted, my body aches terribly, I'm dizzy, burning up, etc and right now, I don't even care. If someone were to walk in, they'd just witness a "couch potato". It's been a pretty rough weekend for the most part. Some of it may be due to a slight splurge in my diet, which if it was, it was sooo not worth it. So this brings me to loving your body.
Throughout the years of being ill, there have been some very emotional times. Times where you really over think every single thing no matter what and your emotions are all over the place. You feel worthless, helpless, useless, etc. These thoughts are completely normal with Lyme Disease. (And others as well). Lyme really effects EVERYTHING in your life. Going from one extreme to the next can really do a toll on your mind and body. People can get to a really low point in their life and truly let themselves go. And I'm not ashamed to say, I've been there. At times, I can still feel myself slowly going back that direction, but I can't. I won't. I've come to learn that throughout this whole experience, my faith and hope have become so tried, but so much stronger.
Back to loving your body - with Lyme, diet plays a huge role. There are some very strict diets for people with Lyme to help reverse it. No sugars, grains, wheat, gluten, soy, dairy, red meat, processed foods... Growing up in an environment where we basically ate these things constantly, not knowing what they did, to now, is a huge lifestyle change. HUGE. However, I can honestly say that treating your body right and only nourishing it with the purest and healthiest of foods can only increase your healing process. And treating your body right, doesn't mean just feeding it right.. It means loving your body, loving yourself. No matter what's been placed in our paths and how much we feel useless, worthless, or feel like you can't do anything, you HAVE to keep loving yourself!
Just recently I have received an amazing priesthood blessing from my incredible husband. The spirit was so strong and there were words that stuck to me like glue. And I knew it was coming from our Heavenly Father. The blessing was very sacred and special to me so I won't share word for word, but I'll give a comparison. Basically, the blessing was that I couldn't help anyone beyond what I've helped myself. I've been pondering this since. Helping people in life is one of my passions. I want to help people heal. I want people to know they are loved and there is always hope. Because of everything I have gone through, loving myself wasn't exactly my forte or my priority. I would get to a place where I truly felt worthless, fear the future and not focus on faith or hope. At the time, I didn't realize what damage this was doing to not only my mind, but my body. The more I had these thoughts, the worse I felt. Yes, I can blame Lyme all I want on how it's made me feel over the years, OR I can change my life by knowing that even though I still have really hard days and can't get off the couch, I don't have to think negatively about myself or the disease. Of course I don't like the disease and what it has done, but I keep my faith and hope knowing that not every single day is the same. Slowly, I am getting better and some days it feels like I took 10 steps backwards. It's a very, very long process, but it can't let you get to the point where you give up. It's okay to have a bad day, or two bad days, or even 10! I've missed out on so many family functions, church meetings, just going to church and activities, and if I think about all I have missed, I get super down and feel awful. I'm sure most people who suffer from illnesses/diseases feel the same way. I'm here to tell you it's okay if you aren't always able to do or give 100% of yourself all the time. Healing is a process. Sometimes faster for some than others. But you will get there and it will be worth it. These trials are temporary and will not always be there. Keep your heads up, focus on faith and hope. And lastly, LOVE YOURSELVES!! I challenge everyone of you, sick or not, to look in the mirror every morning and say "I love you" & "I accept you". This may sound funny to some of you, but do this for at least 21 days and see what happens.
Thank you all again so much for the love and support! Remember to keep your faith and hopes high and to keep loving yourself along the way.
~Nicole~
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