My faith

Hi all!

My blog has started to become more of me sharing my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. With everything that has been going on in my life, this is what I turn to. The gospel. My Heavenly Father. Without it, I have no idea how I would survive through the trials in my life. Having the gospel gives me peace, hope and faith for my future. I know that I am never alone. There are times when I feel like nobody understands the pain or ailments that I suffer from, but that is not true. There is one person who will ALWAYS understand our pains, sorrows, sadness, happiness, joys, etc. Jesus Christ. Our Savior. When we feel alone or like nobody understands, all we need to do is turn to Him. He truly knows how we feel and will help us if we just ask.

The last couple days I have been starting to feel a little better. I felt like I've been getting slightly more energized and am able to do a few more things. Although I'm not completely better, I know with all my heart that everything happens for a reason and I will keep progressing.

Simon has been out of town for work and it has definitely been hard not having him here. I'm so used to seeing him every night. However, I still have his brother here and miss Melissa who still stays with me every night. And I am so grateful for that. Tonight I had the great opportunity to go meet with my Branch President to get my temple recommend renewed and get things rolling so I can be sealed to Simon in the Salt Lake City Temple. YAY! While talking with the Branch President and going through the interview process, I felt so much peace and joy. Even though at the moment I was there I felt so sick, I didn't even care. I could feel the spirit so strongly and getting my recommend renewed made me think back to the very first recommend I had before I went through the temple the first time. It brought such joy to my heart. And this time it was even better because now it's to marry the man of my dreams. Before meeting with the President, I have been so concerned that because of my health I have not been able to attend church hardly at all the last 4 months, I was scared I wouldn't be able to get another recommend. During the interview and when the President asked me questions, I knew in my heart that it didn't matter if I couldn't go to church every single Sunday and partake in callings, go to all the meetings, etc. I knew it was okay because these are things that weren't in my control. That I physically wasn't able to go. The Lord knows my intentions and knows that if I was better, I'd be going to church all the time and fulfilling my duties in the gospel. The President told me he felt great about renewing my recommend and he knows I do as much as I can when I can. I felt so grateful. After we finished up, the President gave me a blessing. Because of the trials in my life and the hardships over the last few months, I know my faith has weakened a time or two or more. But for the first time in quite some time, I could feel that this blessing had different meaning that the others I'd been given. I felt the spirit so strongly and knew my Heavenly Father was there comforting me. I know my faith can always improve and tonight I just realized that no matter how rough life gets or how low we get, we can always overcome those things with Him.

I was told I needed to share my testimony every chance I got. So here I am, sharing my testimony to all of you. I guess that is why I felt inspired to write about these topics tonight. I want everyone to know that YOU are loved. You are never alone and you never have to go through anything in life alone. At times it seems like we are alone, but it doesn't have to be that way. And no matter how bad life gets, it's so important to stay positive and to always keep faith. Life is a beautiful gift we have all been given and it's up to us how to use that gift. I hope and pray for all of you who have struggles in life that you will overcome them and have faith. Have faith in yourself and have faith that it will get better.

Love to all,

Nicole


 (For those of you who are not familiar with my faith or who have other religions/beliefs, I welcome/invite you to still follow my blogs.) This is all my personal feelings and about my life.

It's been a while since I have updated my blog. I haven't felt like doing it lately. There has been a lot going on since my last post. Since then, we have become so frustrated with Doctors and what they have said. Simon especially ;) Sometimes I just want to give up and lose hope completely. But I know that by doing that, it will do no good. And I will never get better if I do. I have to always remember that everything happens for a reason and there is a Divine Plan for me and each and every one of you. Trials happen to everyone. Some more than others, some seem harder than others and we don't know why. When it comes down to it, God truly doesn't give us more than we can handle. Even though there are moments when it feels like we can't handle or take anymore, we always seem to overcome it, even if it's for a small moment.

My wonderful fiance, Simon found a Lyme Disease Support Group and went to a meeting a few weeks ago. I wasn't able to go due to being ill. He is an incredible man. He still went without me because he felt like he needed to go. And it's a good thing he listens to those feelings :) While he was at the meeting, he met some great people and one special lady in particular. She is an elderly lady who has recently been cured completely of Lyme. She was so wonderful to share all of her information with Simon so he could give it to me. We called her that night and talked to her for a while. She gave us some great info and gave us names and numbers of who I needed to contact to seek more help. One of the ladies she told us to call said she could help us a lot. I called her the next morning and she said she was able to see me that same night. Simon and I were really excited because we have heard some great success stories. This lady has a Rife Machine. I'm sure most of you aren't familiar with this machine, but it's pretty great. It's a machine that sends frequencies into the body to literally kill the Lyme. She also does energy work and the Emotion Code. As most of you may know, I've been Foot Zoning and have started alternative things a long time ago. After the first treatment with the Rife Machine, I felt different. The pressure in my head started feeling better and I could tell things were changing in my body. After I was all done, I started getting a really bad headache and had the worst body aches/pains. I was totally okay with this. As much as I was hurting, I knew something was working. I woke up the next day and felt slightly more energized.

We have been doing these treatments for the last couple weeks and I have noticed some changes each time. Although there are days where I still feel like I can't even get out of bed, I know I have to keep using the Rife Machine and doing IV treatments that I just started yesterday. They may make me feel like I'm dying, but I know it gets worse before it gets better. And at this point, I know I have to continue doing this because we have tried pretty much everything else And I'm getting married in 20 days!! :) I'm determined to get feeling better for my wedding. I know all of the treatments, people and other methods have been placed in my way for a reason. And I have to remember that even if I don't feel close to 100% now, I feel better than I did over a month ago and that's what keeps me going.

In my last post, I talked about having gratitude. As hard as it may get sometimes, I still have so many things to be grateful for. I don't have my family close to me anymore, which can get really hard sometimes, but I have plenty of loved ones around. I have a wonderful cousin who comes over and zones me often and helps me more than she'll ever know. I have an incredible friend who has changed her entire daily routine and probably her life to help me. Night time is usually the hardest time for me and this girl comes and stays with me every single night to make sure I'm okay. And always makes sure I'm doing okay throughout the day. She took me to my first IV treatment yesterday and I'm so grateful for her and all that she does. Having her stay with me at night has helped me so much. We read scriptures and always have spiritual conversations. I love it. I don't know what I would do without Melissa. I have a super awesome future bro in law who lives with me. One of the reasons he moved in was so I wasn't alone at night. I'm so grateful to have the priesthood in my home and for all that he does as well. And of course, I have my fiance, Simon. This man.. More amazing than he will ever know. I truly don't know what I would do without him. He is so caring and loves me so much. Even on days where I don't look great, feel so crummy I don't even want to talk. He can always make me laugh, whether I'm sick in bed, in the hospital or just having a rough day. He is my world. He's better than the man of my dreams. He comforts me all the time and let's me cry on his shoulder all the time. Everything that goes on can really get to me sometime and it gets to him too. But he's so strong and helps me to be strong too. We really do complete each other and we have an extremely special relationship. He is a true Son of God and I am so blessed to have him in my life. He has one of the biggest hearts ever. I never thought it was possible to have so much love for someone. And he has a wonderful, wonderful family who I am so grateful for!

During our hard times in life, sometimes that's all we focus on. We focus on the negative, the bad, etc. We also forget to count all of our blessings during the hard times. Which is what we really need to focus on more during trials. It's about how well we endure our trials. Endure them well even if it seems we can't. We always have the Lord on our side as long as we let Him be by our side. We have to remember that through all the trials and tribulations, there will be blessings. We have so much to look forward to in life. I'm so grateful for all the blessings I have been given in life and for trials that make me stronger.

Attitude of Gratitude

Ahh. I forgot to update my blog yesterday :)

I know my last post was rather long so I will try no to make this as long. I truly felt inspired to write what I did and I hope it inspired others.

After watching conference yesterday, I felt so much more peace and comfort. There were so many things that stuck out to me during conference, but one talk that stuck out to me in particular was Uchtdorf's talk. It was amazing! For those of you who watched it, I'm sure you felt the same way. He is one of my favorite's. His talks always seem to hit home. He talked about being grateful. He talked about being grateful in all things. Being grateful during trials and tribulations or during happiness and joy. This is something I always try to be. No matter how hard the trial may be, no matter how sick I feel or how upset I can get. I know there is a specific plan for me and each of you. Meaning that trials we have been dealt with in life are for a reason. Like I had mentioned in my last post, our trials here in this life are to purify us for what's in store.

Uchtdorf's talk inspired me to write about being grateful in all things, every day. As much as some of us may struggle, we always have something to be grateful for. And during the times that seem the hardest to be grateful, are the most important times to be grateful. Just like the saying about prayer. At times when it's hardest to kneel, is when we need to kneel the most.

I know there are times when it's hard to be fully grateful when there is so much struggle in life. However, having a bitter attitude and constantly being negative will never make us feel better. So why not do something to uplift us during hard times? I took some notes from conference and wanted to share just a bit from Uchtdorf's talk.

~Something we can do to take away bitterness in our lives. We can be grateful. Those who set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude will find peace and joy. Expressing gratitude will bring joy and happiness. It is important to frequently count our blessings. The Lord doesn't expect us to be less thankful in times of trial. Attitude of gratitude. It's easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. Instead of being thankful for things, focus on being thankful in our circumstances whatever they may be. The choice is ours. We can choose to limit our gratitude based on the blessings we feel we lack, or we can choose to be grateful like Nephi, whose grateful attitude never failed.~

These words mean so much to me. I know sometimes I can personally struggle with not always remembering my blessings at my hardest moments when I feel really ill. But I also know that on days where I feel miserable are nothing compared to the days I feel okay. I'm grateful that I can know what happiness is by the trials I've been given in life. How can a person feel true happiness and joy if they've never had to go through the pain, sorrow or sadness? Trials really do make us stronger. And how we handle them makes the world of difference. We may not always know the outcome, but if we have trust and faith in the Lord, count our blessings daily and always be grateful, we don't need to know the outcome. I know that whatever trial may come to our lives, as long as we let Him in, He will lighten our burdens.

Every time I pray, I always express gratitude, even if I feel miserable and feel like I can't take anymore, I still do. Because nothing compares to what the Savior has done for us. He truly knows our pains and our sorrows and we are NEVER alone. After listening to Uchtdorf's talk, I realized how I can be more grateful and that I need to count my blessings every day, no matter the situation. I have so much to be grateful for! I have an AMAZING fiance who is always there for me and who gives me blessings when needed. I have a great family who may not live near me, but are just a phone call away and help me whenever I need. I have many loving family and friends all around me. I couldn't be more grateful for them. I have had many people pray for me and I can feel their prayers. They mean the world to me. I have a nice place to call home. I have all the support in the world. And I have the gospel. All of these things and more make life wonderful. I'm so grateful for everything.

I've decided to make lists each time I'm feeling overwhelmed, down or really sick, of things I'm grateful for. But it probably wouldn't hurt to do it every morning or night either :) I know this can make a huge difference. I challenge everyone to have the "attitude of gratitude" for at least 30 days and see the difference it can bring into your life.

Have a lovely day everyone!!

Nicole

More like a short novel, not a post... :)

LDS General Conference. What an amazing way to start the weekend. Conference today was amazing! I seriously love conference so much! I am so grateful for technology to allow those who are not able to actually be there, still be able to watch it and to feel thy spirit. I always feel uplifted after such great talks.

I was going to continue from my post last night, but I felt deeply inspired to do something a little different tonight.

Before I started watching conference today, I had typed a list of questions that I had. Thanks to one of my amazing friend's, Melissa, she text me this morning and asked if I had them ready. She came over the other day for her weekly visit and told me that her Bishop had prompted her to write down specific questions for conference. And she will find her answers. When she had mentioned the idea to me, I thought I should do the same. I felt like at this point in my life, I actually felt like I had some unanswered questions. Maybe not necessarily questions, but I guess I was looking more for comfort and peace.

So I had my list of questions on my laptop and as each speaker gave their talk, I typed everything that stuck out to me. I was determined to find this comfort and peace. And some answers. As each talk was given, I was finding more words of comfort, but the one the stuck out the most, was of course faith.

Faith. Something that has been tried in my life countless times that last few months. No matter how hard I told myself, "faith conquers fear", it didn't work. Nothing would work. Or seemed to work. No matter how much I read my scriptures, I felt empty. I would feel hopeless at times. Every night when I kneeled down to pray, I cried. There would be nights where I could cry so much it was hard to stop. At this point, I was begging for answers, for help, for peace, for comfort and for faith.

As you all know from my first post, I mentioned I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I had been feeling better in most of 2012 and 2013. Back in December of 2013, just a few months after starting my new job at DownEast, I had become very ill. I was at work one day, feeling pretty good. I had walked to the bank, then to Mrs. Fields to get my employees and me a drink. As I was walking back to my store, I suddenly became very faint. My vision was fading, my heart was racing and for a second I wasn't sure where I was. I tried to stay calm and find a place to sit. There wasn't anything nearby so I went right up next to the wall and collapsed. I was praying I'd be fine. I reached in my purse and grabbed some essential oils I had on there and rubbed it all over my chest and some on the back of my neck. It quickly made me gain my focus back and calmed me down a little. As I started walking back to work, I was shaking so bad and felt so sick. I went to the back and sat down at my desk. I knew I needed to go see a Dr. right away. I contacted my roommate, who's a nurse, and she came to pick me up. She said I looked awful.

The Dr.'s at the ER and Urgent Cares couldn't figure things out. I decided to go to Idaho and see my Dr.'s there. I was staying with my mom and she came with me to my appointments. I was experiencing this weird pressure in my head that I just couldn't handle, extreme fatigue and many other symptoms. One Dr. wanted me to get a CT scan of my head so they could make sure there wasn't a tumor or anything like that. I ended up back in the hospital and they gave me a bunch of injections in my head and neck and done a CT Scan. They didn't find anything. The Dr. there was amazing though. We started talking and it said I had adrenal insufficiency. I have struggled with adrenal issues for years, so it made sense to me. He gave me some medicine and said I should start seeing a difference in a few days. I started the meds. They made me sick. I didn't feel good about taking them.

So, my mom and I went to another Dr. within a few days. We quickly learned that I had multiple viruses, bacteria’s and many other things that would clearly make a person feel ill. For that scan, a body's stress number should be around 2-3. Mine was a 26. And that's exactly what it felt like.

I was also seeing another Dr. who had me to a different kind of blood test. While going over my results, we found that my adrenals weren't failing, but they were heading that direction. We found that I was insulin resistant, my cortisol levels were very high, my thyroid levels weren't in the normal range and the inflammation levels were extremely high. I was like, good grief... Why can't my body just be normal and healthy and happy?? But I felt some relief because we were mostly doing this test to see if I had MS. I said to the Dr., "So I'm out of clear for MS then?" She told me, "Well, not exactly." She said that one of the tests showed one of my levels for my demyelination or myelin (I can't remember the word she said), was not normal. She said that looking over everything, it appeared that my body was in the beginning stages of MS. After we finished talking, I just felt so upset. And a little bitter. I just didn't understand why this was happening.

After staying with my mom for a month and many Dr. visits, it was time for me to go back to Utah and get back to work soon. I hated missing work and I felt like I was letting everyone down, because I was the manager. I got back to Utah and stayed with my fiancé and his sister and roommate for a bit because I couldn't exactly take care of myself. I could barely get out of bed. I continued taking my medicine and slowly started feeling better. I was going back to work and things were going okay. I thought this was great and I'd be back to my old self in no time.

I could only work 20-25 hours a week to start off with because my body couldn't handle it. The first couple weeks went by and I decided to start working more. Well, I started getting bad pressure in my head again and just couldn't get it to go away. I went back to the Dr. in Idaho for a follow up, had another test done, and sure enough.. The Lyme was back. The main bacteria of Lyme is called Borrelia. The guy told my mom and I that it is one of the hardest bacteria's to kill. They referred me to this amazing Dr. in Mexico. They said they know it would help. I left the office with more medicine to help fight off this crap.

I went back to Utah, started work again, and then it hit. It hit really hard. I couldn't even drive to work because of the pressure in my head and my heart. I was constantly feeling like passing out, I couldn't eat anything and had already lost nearly 10 pounds within a month. Some days were okay, others not so much.

I ended up back in the ER on the night Simon and I had our engagement pictures done because of my heart. This occurred more than once. They finally had me where a monitor for a month. I had become so sick I had to quit my job. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Nobody like's quitting. And knowing you have to when you don't have control over the situation, is even harder. I had to keep telling myself everything happens for a reason and I'd get better soon.

It is now April... and every day is a challenge for me. We've been to the hospital and Dr. multiple times. We have now found a new Dr. in Utah that we just started working with so I don't have to constantly go to Idaho. I sit home alone every day. Most days I can get out of bed and get some things done around the house, but some days I can't. It's just too much. I've lost over 20 pounds, all energy and most my enthusiasm. The last couple weeks have probably been the hardest so far. This is why the conference talk on faith hit home for me.

I have received priesthood blessings, I have many people praying for me, I've had my name in the temple numerous times. I have developed such fear from everything. Nothing I wanted to ever admit, but I feel like I need to. I've had fear of eating, walking to my mailbox, taking the trash out, going to the store with Simon, or going anywhere for that matter. I have been so terrified from all my experiences and the recent heart issues that have developed, that it has made me so scared to do anything. Don't get me wrong, most of the time I don't do anything is because I physically can't. But because of that, it has become a huge emotional thing for me too.

I know I wrote a lot tonight, but I truly felt like I needed to. I obviously didn't give every single detail of what goes on, but I gave some. And this is why I started this blog. I needed something a little therapeutic for me, but also something that could be therapeutic for someone else. I know life is not always easy. And I know there are times when we feel abandoned, alone, bitter, angry, hurt, frustrated or upset. But after my last visit to the hospital this week, I realized something. Faith is everything. The last trip to the hospital helped me to see things more clearly. I had been praying so hard for something to help me, guide me, comfort me, etc. We learned that I had developed a very irregular heartbeat now. The night before we went there, I was sure I wasn't going to make it. But I did. And after a lot of scripture study, ensign reading, and conference today, my eyes have been open even more. I have learned that blessings and prayers mean nothing without faith. I know that Heavenly Father hears us. I know that He loves us unconditionally. And I know that even though there are huge trials that people have to go through in life, it is ALL for a reason. It's all a part of the divine plan. And one thing I am extremely grateful for aside from the gospel, the divine plan, etc., is my fiance, Simon. I truly don't know what I would do without him and I couldn't have found a better future spouse. He is there for me 24/7 and takes such good care of me. He always tells me that one day I will be able to return the favor, like when I'm all better and he gets a cold. :) He really is the best and one of my biggest blessings in life. He's my best friend, my biggest supporter and my true love. He can always make me smile, even when I cry and reminds me to be positive and stay strong.

One of the articles I read the other night discussed how the trials that we have in life are just purifying us for what the Lord has in store for us. I couldn't find this more true. I have begged in my prayers for the Lord to help me understand, to take away these ailments of my body and to help me feel better. I may have not been healed over night, or in a few days, but I know that as long as I continue to have faith, be strong and confide in Him, everything will be okay. Every day may not be easy for me, or for some of you, but with Him by my side, I can have peace and comfort.

I apologize this post was so long! I don't know why, but I just felt strongly about writing all of this. I hope you all find comfort when you need it and remember that you are never alone :)

Have a lovely night!!

Wendover, creepy hotels, ER, pure bliss and a costume wedding

It was about the middle of October and my last day at VS was on a Saturday. I got off work early that day so my roommate and I decided to do something fun. We thought it would be a brilliant idea to go to Wendover for the night! We packed our bags and headed out. On the way we stopped at the salt flats and took some pictures.. because A) We had no idea they existed and B) We thought it was sand... I know, sad. Anywho, we enjoyed our little road trip there. We got to our hotel, walked in our room, and thought for sure we would get kidnapped. You can't always trust what the internet says. Don't worry, we didn't get kidnapped, but we probably caught some kind of bad something in that place. We had two beds, but yes.. We just slept in one. The furthest one away from the door. Pretty sure we only slept a few hours that night. Even though we may have been a liiiiiiittle bit scared, it made for a comical weekend.

The next morning we woke up really early so we could leave that little gem as quick as possible. On the way home, I was feeling a bit strange, but didn't think much of it. We got back to our apartment and lounged around until it was time to get ready for church. I went in my bathroom to start getting ready and all of a sudden, I started getting black spots in my vision and felt like passing out. My heart was racing so fast. I sat on the toilet until I could get my sight fully back. My head started feeling all kinds of weird. Something just didn't feel right. I laid on the couch and tried to relax as much as possible. Baily went to church and I just stayed home. I wanted to get better for my new job starting that following day.

I went to bed Sunday night feeling okay. Not real great. I woke up to get ready for work. I was in some pain, but just tried to ignore it. Baily was taking me to work that day and on the way there, my heart started going crazy again with weird pressure in my head and I couldn't focus or function. I knew something was wrong, but didn't know what for sure. Baily took me to the ER and I contacted my new boss and told her what had happened.

The second I got in there and explained what was happening, I was getting more pain in my lower abdomen. It kept getting worse and worse. I didn't know if it was all related or what, but either way, I just wanted it to stop. Once they ran tests and checked everything, they said things seemed fine. However, I had a good sized cyst on my left ovary and there was some kind of fluid or something like that.  They said it may be bursting or they may be more than one that they couldn't see. They told me to just take it easy for a few days and if the pain or heart situation got worse, to come back. I went home with some pain meds and felt so bad for not being able to attend my first day at my new job! My boss was so kind about everything and told me it was no problem at all.

Over the next few days, I just felt extremely exhausted and not with it. My head kept getting strange pressure and I felt really weak. I finally was able to make it to work that following Thursday for my first day of training. I couldn't really tell you anything I learned that day, because I was so out of it and felt so sick that I just kept telling myself, I can make it. The feelings continued for the next few days, but I just tried to push through it.

I was so bummed that my first week at DownEast became that way. I was upset because I hadn't felt that sick in a long time. I didn't want to go that direction again. I just didn't feel myself and just wanted to lay down and rest constantly.

Well, within that same week, Simon, my main squeeze, had kept asking me if we could go out. He knew I had not been feeling good and didn't want to push me. But one day when he got off work he said we were going to go for a quick drive if that was ok. I told him I should be fine to. When he came to my apartment, he was all dressed up. I thought to myself, "what kind of drive are we taking??" I asked him if I should change or anything and he said, "no just wear what you have on". I figured I must have looked reeeeal good in a hot pink sweater with big black, velvet lips on it then. Thanks to VS. ;)

As we were driving, he seemed totally normal. Other than he kept looking at his phone. He said we were just going to go to the Whisper Dome in Draper real quick. He just wanted to show it to me. I was like, okay cool. So we get there and walk into the middle of the Dome and he started explaining what it does and so on. He told me to walk to the other side and face the pillar and he would walk to the other one and we could whisper back and forth. I was like, sweet! So I was facing this pillar, and he started whispering things to me. He asked me if I loved him, how much, etc. This whole time I am still facing the pillar, wondering why the heck am I facing this way??? He asked me if I wanted to marry him some day. Of course I said yes. I wasn't about to say no to the most AMAZING, beautiful man in the world who happens to grow the best facial hair ever. I turned around and there he was on the other side, on one knee with a ring box in his hand. I think I was slightly in shock. I thought, "Is this real life??" "Is he seriously proposing to me right now?" "Oh-em-gee, he is!!!" I walked over to him and I'm pretty sure we had a nice make out session. Who wouldn't?? The ring was beautiful! Very unique, very me. Here, let me just show you a picture.

Well done, Simon, well done.

After we finished kissing, he told me there was a camera hidden somewhere recording everything. And then his brother just popped out of nowhere. It was great. He told me he couldn't wait any longer to propose. He had been so anxious that whole week! He told me he was going to propose to me on that previous Monday, but then I ended up in the ER. After we finished talking we drove back to my place. Of course I immediately told like the whole world I was engaged. That was news this girl was not going to hide. I was engaged to the man of my dreams. Literally.
-October 26th, 2013. Simon proposed to Nicole. One of the happiest days of. my. life.-

Once I finally told everyone the great news and it was passed my bedtime, Simon left for the night. That following week he was going out of the COUNTRY for work. Seriously so sad. We get engaged and he flees the country. To England. I wasn't bitter at all. ;) I was actually happy he was able to go. It was a great opportunity for him and he was able to see some of his family while he was there! So of course I was happy he went. In the mean time, I took off some time from work so I could go to Idaho to my sister's wedding.

For those of you who know my sister, well, who know my family really, know that we don't do things the traditional way. We just love to have fun. :) So, for my sister's wedding, since it was on November 1st, why not make it a Halloween wedding?! It was fabulous. My mom, who's name is Teresa went as Mother Teresa. Nichelle, my sister, and I went as nuns. Jacob, my brother in law, was a Father. And my little sister, Kylie went as a zombie fairy or something like that. Haha. When we got to the venue, almost everyone was dressed up. It was hilarious! We stayed and danced for a while, then headed home. We had a great time and it was so fun to see all my family there being their awesome selves.

I spent the rest of the weekend hanging out with my family. I was staying with my mom so it was nice having it like old times. We met Baily on Sunday,then we headed back to Utah. I was so excited to go home and wait for my fiance to come back!

Thank you everyone for reading and I hope you all have a fabulous night!!  I will continue more tomorrow :)

~Nicole~

Good afternoon, everyone!

Before I continue on from yesterday's post, I have to mention just a few things real quick.

Warning though: My blogs aren't just a short paragraph or two. There's quite a bit to read. Home girl here has a lot to catch up on. ;) So you should probably pop some popcorn or grab some snacks while you enjoy.

I graduated from Foot Zoning school June 1 and quit my job as the Assistant Manager at the bridal store in Idaho Falls right after. I wanted to focus on zoning as many people as I could and just try to build my clientele while I was still in Idaho. I was still doing well for the most part, always tried to stay positive and happy and clientele just kept growing! It was wonderful. I knew that moving to Utah would put Foot Zoning on the back burner until I could build clientele there. That was my passion. It was hard to do, but I knew I had to.

*Back to where I left off from yesterday
Baily and I heading to Utah for our new adventure! I remember being so excited to finally be on my own and not worry about my health problems. Don't get me wrong, I had my moments of worrying and being stressed, but I knew Heavenly Father wanted me to go to Utah. I just needed to remind myself that putting my faith in Him would put me at ease and I just needed to trust Him.

Once we got to Utah, we finally got all unpacked after many, many trips up and down stairs. (Which by the way, don't ever move to the 3rd floor of a building, not one of our wisest moments, but definitely very entertaining). We had friends and family there to help us, so it wasn't too bad :) We moved on a Saturday and that following Monday we both started our new jobs. Come Monday morning, Baily left to her job and I drove to mine. I was working at Victoria's Secret in the Fashion Place Mall in Murray, UT.  I was so excited to be there and everybody just loved me. It felt amazing! I loved my boss and the girls I trained with. Life was pretty great :) Work was going really well and I loved living with Baily. And also being able to see my boyfriend all the time. ~Quick side note, the first day of moving to Utah is when my soon to be husband told me he loved me. AWWW. Just had to throw this in here! ;) Now we can continue.

Only after a few weeks of working at the Fashion Place Mall, my manager had called me into our back office to talk. I was kind of worried, but I knew I hadn't done anything wrong so I wasn't sure what she wanted to talk about. She told me a position had opened up at the South Towne Mall in Sandy, UT. I didn't think much of it and was just like, ok that's cool?? Then my manager, Tiffany told me the Store Manager from South Towne wanted me to interview. I was like, "Whaaaaa"? I was confused. Tiffany told me she was talking to her on the phone and told her I would be a great candidate and how amazing I was and so on. So the manager from the other location wanted me. She told me I had an interview set up already for the next day and I could just go during work and still get paid. I couldn't turn that down. I went home and was still just baffled at everything. I had been receiving so many blessings and I felt like this was another one. So I prayed that night and the next day went to the interview. It went amazing! The manager at South Towne and I had really bonded and I probably spent too much time there, but I figured, hey it's an interview and I'm getting paid right now. No problems here. :) So after being interviewed, I felt like I had it in the bag. Aaaaand I was right. Marilyn, South Towne Manager, had already called and talked to Tiffany and told her she wanted me. I had already felt so close with my staff at Fashion Place and it made me sad to leave. Tiffany didn't want me to leave either, but she told me I'd be in good hands and it's a great promotion. I trusted Tiffany with my life. That lady. Amazing. So I listened to her and followed my promptings. Two weeks later, I transferred to South Towne with a big raise. Woot woot.

So there I was, promoted after a few weeks with a big raise, working with wonderful people, I was still doing okay health wise, had the best roomie and the greatest boyfriend in the world. What more could I be blessed with? I received my first check from my new position, not really paying attention.. The next checked I received, I looked at my salary rate. It was more than I was offered. I looked by at my other check, same thing. I was like, wow.. I'm totally okay with this. I knew all of this was happening for a reason and I had felt so blessed. I expressed my gratitude constantly to my Heavenly Father. I truly felt like I was living a dream some days. Things almost didn't seem real. I was so used to how I used to live and what I struggled with in the past, but it didn't even matter anymore to me, because I was constantly being blessed and felt so loved.

Two weeks after transferring stores, my manager, Marilyn, the one who became like my best friend, quit. She had been offered an amazing position with Apple. I was so bummed she left. I felt a little upset, because she was part of the reason I transferred, but I knew it would be fine and I was there for a reason. I kind of became obsessed you could say with my job. I just loved it so much and loved my team. I was working a lot. And was working almost every Sunday. Since Marilyn had left, the Assistant Manager had to play her role as well. Everyone was under just a little bit of stress. I wasn't okay with working Sundays, but sometimes I just didn't have a choice in the matter. I was hardly ever going to church and I became so busy with work that I was always exhausted and never felt like going to the temple. The job soon became very stressful. The Assistant Manager had now quit. So that left me and another Category Manager, as well as two other supervisor's. We were all working so much and you could feel the bad energy starting to come around. But we still done our best to do what we could. I could tell my body was shutting down. I wasn't sleeping much at all, I wasn't eating right when I did eat, and I just was becoming very fatigue, very fast.

I needed to make a change and the whole working on Sunday business was not okay with me, I kept praying about what to do. I loved my job so much, but I knew I needed to put the Lord and gospel first. I felt like I needed to quit. I just needed to find another job first. So I prayed for one. One night after praying, I received a call to meet with one of the Bishop's counselor's. I went in the next couple days and met with him. He asked me how the ward was and I told him I had no idea, because I have only been once. I told him I had to work almost every Sunday. He told me that he normally doesn't tell people this, but he's telling me, I need a new job. I knew right then my feelings/prayers were confirmed and answered. He told me he had a friend who was part of Corporate for DownEast. I'm sure most of you are familiar with them. :) He told me to email him my resume and he'd send it to his friend to see if they had anything available. I went home that night and felt like I needed to job hunt. One of the first jobs that came up was a Store Manager position for DownEast at the Fashion Place Mall. I was like, wow. Maybe this is a sign. It was. I applied, sent my resume to my counselor and received a phone call the next day for an interview. I went in for the interview that week. It went very well and I felt pretty good about it.

The following week I left for vacation with my boyfriend and some friends. The weekend before leaving, I was at my mom's and received a call from the lady who interviewed me at DownEast. She offered me the position. She said she was going to check on the pay rate for me and see what she could do and would contact me in a few days.

We went to Arizona for a week and it was delightful. It was such a much needed break from work and just life. We literally lounged by the pool every single day. Of course we went shopping too. While we were on our trip, I kept in contact with DownEast. They offered me the position with lower pay than what I was making. I didn't want to accept less, but I knew I still needed to leave my job. I asked her if it would be possible for a higher pay and later she contacted me saying that it was. It was great! I just kept thinking, what a great blessing. I contacted my regional managers at VS right away and gave them my two weeks notice. We finished our vacation and went home a week later. Life was fabulous. Minus having to leave Arizona, the warm sun and weather, the great shopping, food, etc. We flew back home and the next day I went to work. The new store manager was there at VS and I already didn't like her. We just didn't have a very good start before I left for Arizona. But we were still pleasant with each other and it was totally fine. I knew I was making the right choice in leaving. It was better for my health and better for me spiritually. I only worked for one more week and then I was done. My last day went well and I was ready to start another adventure.

This will be my ending point for the day. Sorry this post was longer, but like I said, I have a lot to catch up on and I'm trying to do it quick so I can start in with my new stuff :)

Lots of love to everyone,
                    ~Nicole~

Hello everyone!

This is my first time blogging. Ever. I have never really been into it. Until now. I have recently been inspired to start blogging. My name is Nicole. I'm 25, live in Utah and I am engaged to the man of my dreams! I moved to Utah last June with my friend Baily. I was born and raised in Idaho.

I wasn't sure how to begin my blog or what exactly to talk about. Then I realized I was inspired to start a blog to help inspire other people and I felt it would be therapeutic for myself :)

I don't want to start writing everything that has happened in my life. That would obviously be a lot of writing. And probably slightly boring. I also don't just want to talk about the struggles in my life. I want to talk about the struggles, the joys, the journey. Which is why my title is "My Journey of Hope, Faith, Love & Life". I hope that throughout my posts, people will feel inspired, loved and hopeful. Each day I am going to post to continue my story.

So here is my story.

Back in 2010-2011 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. For any of you who know what Lyme disease is, it's very hard to diagnose, has more than 50 symptoms and is supposed to be common only back east. Well I had never traveled and never have been bitten by a tick, that I know of anyways. But somehow, I still got this terrible disease. Lyme disease can be very difficult to treat and of course every person responds to treatments differently so not all of the treatments who worked well for others, didn't work for me. After many treatments and doing things the "natural" way, I started slowly getting better. I was working full time as a Bridal Consultant and I loved it. I would still have some bad days, but not as often as I used to.

In June of 2012, I went through the Temple for the first time in Rexburg, Idaho. It was the greatest day of my life. I was not preparing to serve a mission or getting married. (Which are usually reasons why people receive their endowments.) I received mine, because I knew I needed to. A few months before I went through, I had a strong prompting that I needed to prepare to go to the temple. I felt like this is what I needed in my life and at the time, I didn't realize how much healing it would do. After going through the temple, I was feeling great. No matter if I felt sick or not, I didn't pay attention to it. I looked at everything in a completely different way. I loved going to the temple. I felt so peaceful when I went. I didn't worry about anything going on in the world. I felt so close to my Heavenly Father. I would try to go to the temple at least once a week. I was able to attend my sister's Sealing at the Salt Lake Temple that following October. It was amazing. And I realized that one day, I wanted to be sealed there too. There was something so special that was felt there that day. The following day, I started Foot Zoning school. This is something else that helped changed my life. I was learning how to  help other people by zoning their feet. These classes were once a month for two days. I looked forward to them every month. I became more and more positive about life. I was learning so much and blessings were pouring into my life. It was AMAZING. I was so grateful for everything and each day I woke up, I was so excited for the day and couldn't wait to see what blessings would come into my life.

Life stayed like this for a while. It was great. I knew I was becoming the person I was meant to be. At the time, I had been living with my mom for a while. During all these great changes in my life, Baily and I decided that we needed to move to Utah. I had never moved away from my family before. I had for college, but I still lived with my sister, so I had some family with me at all times. Because of all my health problems I had dealt with in the previous years, I became full of fear. I felt like I couldn't do anything on my own, because most times I couldn't. But I knew I had changed and my fear had been completely replaced with faith. I felt unstoppable at this point. I felt like I could conquer anything in the world. And I was also dating a super cute boy.. Who lived in Utah... Which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact of why I wanted to move to Utah ;) I decided to take this huge leap of faith and move to Utah with my friend. She transferred her nursing job and I got a job at Victoria's Secret as a Category Supervisor. I was so excited for this new journey in life! June 15, we finished packing up our things and headed to Utah!


This is all I'm going to write for today, but I will continue tomorrow! Thanks for following and have a wonderful day!