It's been a while since I have updated my blog. I haven't felt like doing it lately. There has been a lot going on since my last post. Since then, we have become so frustrated with Doctors and what they have said. Simon especially ;) Sometimes I just want to give up and lose hope completely. But I know that by doing that, it will do no good. And I will never get better if I do. I have to always remember that everything happens for a reason and there is a Divine Plan for me and each and every one of you. Trials happen to everyone. Some more than others, some seem harder than others and we don't know why. When it comes down to it, God truly doesn't give us more than we can handle. Even though there are moments when it feels like we can't handle or take anymore, we always seem to overcome it, even if it's for a small moment.

My wonderful fiance, Simon found a Lyme Disease Support Group and went to a meeting a few weeks ago. I wasn't able to go due to being ill. He is an incredible man. He still went without me because he felt like he needed to go. And it's a good thing he listens to those feelings :) While he was at the meeting, he met some great people and one special lady in particular. She is an elderly lady who has recently been cured completely of Lyme. She was so wonderful to share all of her information with Simon so he could give it to me. We called her that night and talked to her for a while. She gave us some great info and gave us names and numbers of who I needed to contact to seek more help. One of the ladies she told us to call said she could help us a lot. I called her the next morning and she said she was able to see me that same night. Simon and I were really excited because we have heard some great success stories. This lady has a Rife Machine. I'm sure most of you aren't familiar with this machine, but it's pretty great. It's a machine that sends frequencies into the body to literally kill the Lyme. She also does energy work and the Emotion Code. As most of you may know, I've been Foot Zoning and have started alternative things a long time ago. After the first treatment with the Rife Machine, I felt different. The pressure in my head started feeling better and I could tell things were changing in my body. After I was all done, I started getting a really bad headache and had the worst body aches/pains. I was totally okay with this. As much as I was hurting, I knew something was working. I woke up the next day and felt slightly more energized.

We have been doing these treatments for the last couple weeks and I have noticed some changes each time. Although there are days where I still feel like I can't even get out of bed, I know I have to keep using the Rife Machine and doing IV treatments that I just started yesterday. They may make me feel like I'm dying, but I know it gets worse before it gets better. And at this point, I know I have to continue doing this because we have tried pretty much everything else And I'm getting married in 20 days!! :) I'm determined to get feeling better for my wedding. I know all of the treatments, people and other methods have been placed in my way for a reason. And I have to remember that even if I don't feel close to 100% now, I feel better than I did over a month ago and that's what keeps me going.

In my last post, I talked about having gratitude. As hard as it may get sometimes, I still have so many things to be grateful for. I don't have my family close to me anymore, which can get really hard sometimes, but I have plenty of loved ones around. I have a wonderful cousin who comes over and zones me often and helps me more than she'll ever know. I have an incredible friend who has changed her entire daily routine and probably her life to help me. Night time is usually the hardest time for me and this girl comes and stays with me every single night to make sure I'm okay. And always makes sure I'm doing okay throughout the day. She took me to my first IV treatment yesterday and I'm so grateful for her and all that she does. Having her stay with me at night has helped me so much. We read scriptures and always have spiritual conversations. I love it. I don't know what I would do without Melissa. I have a super awesome future bro in law who lives with me. One of the reasons he moved in was so I wasn't alone at night. I'm so grateful to have the priesthood in my home and for all that he does as well. And of course, I have my fiance, Simon. This man.. More amazing than he will ever know. I truly don't know what I would do without him. He is so caring and loves me so much. Even on days where I don't look great, feel so crummy I don't even want to talk. He can always make me laugh, whether I'm sick in bed, in the hospital or just having a rough day. He is my world. He's better than the man of my dreams. He comforts me all the time and let's me cry on his shoulder all the time. Everything that goes on can really get to me sometime and it gets to him too. But he's so strong and helps me to be strong too. We really do complete each other and we have an extremely special relationship. He is a true Son of God and I am so blessed to have him in my life. He has one of the biggest hearts ever. I never thought it was possible to have so much love for someone. And he has a wonderful, wonderful family who I am so grateful for!

During our hard times in life, sometimes that's all we focus on. We focus on the negative, the bad, etc. We also forget to count all of our blessings during the hard times. Which is what we really need to focus on more during trials. It's about how well we endure our trials. Endure them well even if it seems we can't. We always have the Lord on our side as long as we let Him be by our side. We have to remember that through all the trials and tribulations, there will be blessings. We have so much to look forward to in life. I'm so grateful for all the blessings I have been given in life and for trials that make me stronger.