The Most Inspirational Post You'll Probably Ever Read. **** (Conquering Lyme)

Hi all!!

As most of you know, from my previous posts, I mention that I typically write a post when I feel inspired. I don't want to write every single day and bore people with my nonsense ;). However, this post won't do that. I have been dying ALL week to get back home from Cabo to write this post!! You guys don't even know my excitement!

Since my wonderful husband and I got back from our Idaho reception the second weekend in July, I have been super struggling. Some days I would feel okay, other days I was miserable and so sick. I couldn't even get off the couch. I know, that's not uncommon for me. But the last couple weeks were worse in certain areas. Like my stomach for instance. I was having severe nausea, stomach pains, weakness, dizziness, etc. I was having a hard time eating anything. Everything tasted gross to me or tasted "not normal". I was so so so tired. Fatigue is no fun. Ever. My body had been stressed from all the physical work I done at the reception and just the stress in receptions itself! Lyme + stress = major problems.

I was so sick to my stomach and could not figure out what the heck was going on. With Lyme Disease, typically you get pain anywhere and everywhere at anytime. But it usually isn't so constant or painful (for me in my stomach area). Last week I felt like death. The pain was so bad and I was so weak. My amazing friend Melissa came to hang out with me last Thursday (I think) and she took me to see my Dr. They ran some tests and when results came back my Dr. was like, "Oh... Well, okay." I asked her what was up. She said that my body was losing Ketones. I wasn't very familiar with this so she went on to explain that basically my body wasn't getting enough nutrients cause I wasn't eating enough and whatever I was eating, it wasn't being absorbed. So what was happening was that my stomach was running out of nutrients to digest so it literally started digesting my stomach muscles. "GROSS" is what I thought. I told her it felt like my stomach was eating itself and she said, "well, that's because it basically is". Haha. Makes sense! Anyways, she was telling me all these things to do and if I wasn't better by Monday to go back in, because Tuesday I was supposed to be leaving for Cabo!!

It was either that same night I went to the Dr or the next night, I woke up in the middle of the night, burning up, stomach hurting so bad, heart pounding super fast and shaking like crazy! I thought to myself, "You have got to be kidding. I have to go to Cabo soon and I'm so sick!!" I woke my husband up and we went to the emergency room. They gave me pain meds, nausea meds and lots of fluid. Everything else looked fine. We got home around 5 a.m. or so and I slept pretty much the whole next day. It was night to be able to finally sleep cause sleeping isn't my strongest point. :) Throughout the weekend I still struggled. I kept taking my meds and supplements and tried to eat super light things. Monday rolled around and I felt A-W-F-U-L. My friend took me back to my Dr. and she immediately said I need to get a CT scan. We talked about things for a bit and she told me she really wouldn't advise me going to Cabo. I somewhat felt relieved, because let's be honest here, who wants to go on a trip OUT of the country when you are super sick?? NOT ME. I really wanted to go to Cabo, but I knew I should probably listen to my Dr. as well.

I told Simon while he was at work what my Dr. had said. He obviously wasn't super thrilled about it and talked to his boss about my situation. His boss had already purchased everything and didn't know if we could get a refund for us or not. Simon told me what his boss said and told me that he really thinks I will be okay to go. He told me I needed to hurry and let them know so they could get everything figured out asap. As I was sitting on the couch talking to Melissa, I started crying. I told her this was so frustrating and I was so sick of being so sick and not being able to just go do anything I wanted to. I was torn on what to do. I knew if I felt this sick in Cabo it would be a miserable trip and especially a miserable flight. We were talking about praying and having my husband give me a blessing that night when he got home from work. I couldn't decide what to do. I wanted to go, but I knew how sick I was and thought I should maybe listen to my Dr. as well. Just as Melissa and I were discussing praying and what I should do, there was a knock at my door. I was still crying so Melissa hopped up to get it. When she opened the door, I turned around to see two LDS missionaries standing in my doorway. At first, I didn't think much of it cause they asked if we had any Spanish speaking members in our neighborhood. We told them no and we didn't know of any. They asked if there was anything they could do for us at this time and as soon as they said that I immediately thought, "ask for a blessing" and at the same time, Melissa turned to me, gave me this strange look, then told the missionaries to hold on for a second. She closed the door and asked me if it was okay to ask them to give me a blessing. I was like, "YES!!" She opened the door back up and asked them. We told them we didn't have another male member here. They told us to just pull up a chair in the doorway and they would give me one. So there I sat in my chair in the middle of my doorway, Melissa by my side and two missionaries preparing to give me a blessing. As soon as the blessing started, I immediately felt the spirit. My entire body was calmed and filled with peace and comfort. I was blessed with strength and that my symptoms I was dealing with would subside and that I would be comforted. I was told in my blessing that my prayers would be answered in accordance to my faith. There was more in the blessing, but this was the gist of it. Once the blessing was over and the elders left, Melissa and I sat down and were just in awe. We both had tears in our eyes. I told her I knew I would be okay to go on my trip. As long as I kept my faith in Heavenly Father, I would be okay. We were both just amazed at what just happened. That was literally and immediate answer to my prayers!! There I sat, crying to Melissa about my sicknesses and feeling so discouraged and talking about prayers and blessings, then missionaries show up at my house!! The church couldn't be more true. After this all happened I told Simon about everything and he was amazed. He felt the spirit when I told him and was so grateful.

(As I have mentioned before, I developed major anxiety and fear. The worst things to ever have. My anxiety is much better now, but I still have my moments. And have still struggled with fear. Fear of so many things. Not only that, keep in mind that getting up and walking around can be a huge task for me. Walking isn't just, an easy thing. Some days I am so nauseous and when I walk, it feels like the ground moves or I get super dizzy and loopy. My legs shake from being so weak. And I get exhausted real fast. Heat tends to make me feel really sick and faint also. And any sudden movements can make me want to vomit sometimes. So you can only imagine my thoughts about traveling to the airport, walking through the airport, flying on a plane more than once, going to Cabo in super hot weather, having the stomach pains I'd been having for weeks, heart palpitations, etc. Taking a trip with all this wouldn't be fun.) My worries and fears were outweighing my faith!! How could I ever let that happen!!? I felt like I was never going to get back to where I was before my major downfall back in December. Then... The missionaries showed up. Gave me a blessing. And reminded me of what I was lacking. Faith. No matter how much faith I think I have, it's not enough. And it hasn't been enough. Doubt takes my faith down daily. Without me even realizing this! My fears and doubts were weakening my mind, my strength and mostly, my faith. After receiving that blessing, I thought, "Through Christ, I can do all things." He is there. My prayers are heard every time I pray. My prayers are answered. Not always instantly, but some way somehow, they are ALWAYS answered. Some of them may not even be answered for years, or til the next life. But I know that they are heard and they will be answered when it is HIS time. Not mine.

Moving Forward -

Tuesday morning rolls around! Simon and I were up before 4 a.m. to catch our flight. Melissa took us to the airport and we were there by 6:30 a.m. We got all checked in and just waited for our flight. My body was aching so bad, stomach still slightly upset and my nerves felt shot. Once we finally boarded the plane, I felt a little more relieved. I kept remembering my blessings over and over in my head and doing energy work on myself throughout the flight. I tried to keep my mind busy with others things too, so I wouldn't get anxiety or start freaking myself out about things. By the time we got to Cabo, I was done. My body was hurting so bad I could barely walk. My stomach felt so sick and I just wanted to crawl in bed and sleep. I was so annoyed with everything and just wanted to go back home. I hated how I was feeling and it was SO hot! Our shuttle picked us up at the airport to take us to our resort in Cabo San Lucas. It was quite a little drive out there and our driver was flying like crazy ha. Which I was okay with, because I was just ready to be there. Once we arrived it took us probably another 20 minutes or so to get all checked in. We were driven to our villa in a golf cart and then we had to go up 3 flights of stairs. Finally we got to our room and I was SO happy!!

We walked in our room and it was beautiful!! I was so glad to be there finally and looking out from our patio was an incredible view of the resort and the ocean. It was so lovely! Even though I felt miserable, I was so grateful to be able to make it to Cabo with my amazing husband. He worked so hard to earn this trip and he deserved every bit of it.

We stayed in Cabo from Tuesday until Saturday. During our stay, I was determined to have fun and just relax. Most of the time I done OK. The heat got to me a lot and we had to go to our room once in a while to cool down. The pools were warm too so it was hard to cool down in them. Every morning I woke up I was exhausted and walking wasn't super great. I was pretty weak and all those stairs were a struggle. But I decided, I was in control and I was going to make it. Each day when I woke up and before I went to bed each night, I said a little prayer to help me through. I started saying a bunch of positive and healing affirmations in my mind over and over. When we first got to Cabo, I told my husband that going to Cabo and being in the sun and heat would help kill the Lyme and all the other bad things in my body.

Having Lyme really takes a toll on you physically, but also mentally. You HAVE to try and stay positive at all times. No matter what. You have to constantly remind yourself to stay calm, to not have any fear, otherwise anxiety and other things will take over your life. The adversary will try to tear you down day by day, thought by thought. This has been a HUGE struggle for me. And that is one reason why going to Cabo was "scary" for me. I wouldn't be home, close to my Dr. or close to anything for that matter. What if something happened? What if I got sicker? What if I feel miserable and can't enjoy my trip? All these questions popped in my head over and over. Until I received blessings and until I got to Cabo. I had to change my mindset and my thought patterns asap. I knew if I didn't, I would have a terrible time and just focus on being sick the whole time. Each day was a lot of work mentally. Just to get up and walk to breakfast was dreadful. But I did it. Every day we were there. And I survived. I focused on the heat making me feel good any time I walked outside. I focused on my body getting exercise daily and that it was good for my mind and my body. I repeated over and over in my mind that "I can do all things though Christ", "My faith outweighs my fear" and "I am fearless." This may seem like little things to some of you, but to me, they are more than that. This is my life. These struggles are real. And they can take you down at any moment. Whether it be the physical part of Lyme, the emotional part, spiritual part, or mental part. It can destroy you. IF you let it. And I will NEVER let that happen. Sure I still have moments where I break down and cry my eyes out, but who says being strong means you can't cry? Crying cleanses the soul. It helps release those frustrations and the anger that has been building up. That doesn't make you any less stronger.

Saturday when we finally returned home, my heart was so full of gratitude! I was so excited to be back in Utah. I never thought I would say those words, but boy I sure missed home! The trip was wonderful and so beautiful. It was an incredible experience for me and helped me break through my fears and worries about life and living with Lyme. It was what I needed.

So this is my conclusion of this story, Cabo is super hot, but beautiful. Blessings are incredible. Prayers will be answered in accordance to our faith. Without faith, we have nothing. Faith can move mountains. Anything is possible. Going on this trip helped me change. My mindset feels like it's getting back to where it used to be. I don't feel like I have this huge blockage anymore and that all these walls that have been building up around my have been shattered. I constantly told myself going to Cabo would help me heal. And I strongly believe that it did. Whether it's healing the Lyme, or healing something else. I felt like I reached a new point in my life and the fear was conquered. My mind is still in "Cabo mode". I constantly keep telling myself I am being healed, I am fearless, etc. I look back through this whole experience of being really sick right before my trip, the blessings I received and the love I felt from my Savior. No matter what happens or what fears come in our way, He is there. He knows and understands everything we are going through when nobody else does. He is the one to turn to in everything. He knows what we need in life. He knows what challenges will be placed in our path and He knows what we need to overcome them. He will never leave us. Keeping God close to us always with a grateful heart, positive mind and positive attitude can help us conquer anything. Of course we will still have trials in life and hardships, but our loads will be lightened by our hope. Our faith.

I know with all my heart that God is real. Our prayers are always heard. Trials come into our lives to help us learn. To help us grow. To help us become stronger. To shape us, to mold us.... into who we were brought on this earth to really be. I am learning more and more every day. I am learning more about my faith and what I can do to keep it strong at all times. I'm grateful for the trials I have had. Obviously they are miserable and being given the life I have been given, is challenging. BUT I know it's for a reason and to become the person I am meant to be, things had to happen in my life. Without them, my faith wouldn't be strong. I wouldn't understand many things. I wouldn't be as compassionate as I am for others. I wouldn't have my blog, my FB group, my support system, my life full of love without these experiences in my life.

I hope you all have enjoyed following my blog and that each of you may receive some sort of answers, inspirations or gained any amount of hope and faith from them. I genuinely appreciate each of you who read and share my blogs. I will continue to blog throughout my journey with Lyme and overcoming it and hope you can all continue to follow.

With much love and gratitude,

Nicole

                                                                     

Power of the Priesthood and healing lyme with the mind

Since my last post, I have gotten so many great responses from people! It has been so wonderful! People have been contacting me about their stories and how much my blog has helped them. It's amazing what social media does. Especially when it's used for good things. Knowing that my story is getting out there and giving someone even the slightest comfort, makes my heart so full of gratitude. No matter how hard days can be, it makes it better knowing I can try to still be an example and give hope to others.

Over the last week, I've been doing a lot of praying and pondering about how I can continue to help others and what I need to do. As you know from some of my previous posts, I created a Facebook group called *All About Lyme - Holistic Healing*. I felt so inspired to do so and it's been amazing so far! It's full of wonderful people who are struggling or know someone struggling with Lyme and want to get better. While praying about all of this, I have felt prompted to start some type of "challenge" I suppose you could say. A challenge to change our lives. Change the way we think. Change the way we act. Change our thoughts. Change our attitudes. I've decided to put together a plan for this incredible journey. I've put a lot of thought into this and have come up with the title for this. "Healing Lyme With The Mind". I'm so excited to get this all put together and share with everyone! (So please keep following to join!)

-- Now I'll share with you all a story :)

Over the weekend, my husband and I went to Idaho for our second wedding reception. We left Friday afternoon and got into town a little after 5. We had to drive about 45 minutes from my mom's to get to my aunt's house where we were having our reception. We were there until 10 p.m. By the time we got back to my mom's house, I was wiped out. I was so tired and I couldn't think straight. Finally after 11 p.m. I went to bed. As I laid there, my head felt crazy. Felt like all these little bugs going a million miles an hour. I focused on what is called energy work. (I will discuss more about this in another post). I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths and visualized peace and calmness filling my body. Starting with my head, all the way down to my toes. I visualized a white light scanning my body and healing it. (I know this may sound weird to those who aren't familiar with energy work, but bare with me). After a few minutes of this, I fell asleep and slept through the whole night.

Simon and I had to get up by 7 a.m. so we could be back to my aunt's house by 9 to finish setting everything up and decorate. We worked hard all morning. Around noon I went into my aunt's salon and started getting myself ready for the reception. Once I sat down, I felt like I couldn't get back up. I was already so exhausted with those crazy sensations in my head again. I felt so weak. I started focusing on those visualizations again and focusing on all the positive things. My mom made me a little snack so I could get my blood sugar balanced and focus a little better. Shortly after eating, I got major stomach pains. This happens often so it wasn't anything out of the norm, just bad timing. The reception was starting at 1 p.m. and about quarter after I finally felt okay enough to go outside and get the party started! ;)

People weren't really showing up just yet, so Stuart, my awesome brother in-law, took some pictures of Simon and I while we waited for more guests. It was quite hot outside and a bit humid. For those of you who don't know, heat is usually NOT my friend. Heat can make everything feel almost 100 times worse. Luckily, before our reception, a good friend of mine who also struggles with Lyme told me she started doing energy work on herself and focused on the heat killing the Lyme. Brilliant!! So that's what I did. I kept telling myself the heat was good for my body and would help kill all the bad things in it. And guess what, I survived the heat! I thought I would have to change out of my wedding dress before an hour even passed, but I didn't. I kept my dress on for over 2 hours. Almost 3. I didn't get too overheated, didn't pass out and I felt OKAY. It was so exciting! I was able to enjoy visiting with all the great guests that showed up and have a good time.

Once it was over, it was over. I was done. Wiped out big time. After cleaning up, I just wanted to go to bed and sleep for days. Not only was I exhausted, I was so weak, shaky, my legs wanted to give out every time I walked, dizzy and all those things. We hadn't really eaten anything that day so we decided to go get some dinner on the way back to my moms. My sister and her husband wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse with us and my mom. I was very hesitant at first because I have a really hard time with large, noisy crowds now. I struggle as it is with thinking and being calm. When I get around a lot of people, especially in a building, I can't handle it. My head goes crazy, my heart goes crazy, I get hot and feel like I can't breathe. I told my husband I just wanted to leave. He told me that I was okay and to be calm. I bowed my head down and closed my eyes. I said a little prayer to my Heavenly Father that I would be calm and be able to enjoy this time with  my family. (I don't go out hardly ever & if we do, it's usually to a quieter more open place). As I finished saying my prayer, I focused on how I would feel if I was calm and able to breathe. I started feeling better and just kept chugging water. Once our food started coming I started feeling better. I kept focusing on the good time with my family instead of focusing on not being able to breathe.

After dinner Simon and I headed back to my mom's place. When we got back, my sister and her husband were there as well and I just really wanted to keep having a good time with my family and not just go rest and sleep like usual. We stayed outside for a long time playing with air soft guns. SO fun!! I knew my body needed rest, but I just wanted to have fun and enjoy life! After hours of being outside and enjoying company, I was ready for bed. I knew if I didn't go to bed soon, I would keep feeling much worse. I was already feeling horrible, but I didn't want to focus on that. So I went to bed and woke up Sunday morning. I thought, I feel okay today I think. Then once I got up and started packing, I knew it was going to be a really rough day. My head felt so heavy, my chest felt heavy, everything felt sick and painful. I just wanted to go home and lay in my bed.

Simon and I left that morning and got home in a little less than 3 hours. We got home, unloaded the car, rested for a bit, then unpacked everything. I kept telling myself I could do this. I could get this all done. By the time I finally finished unpacking and cleaning, I felt so sick. My body was burning up and I felt like I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to move. I was going to stay home while Simon went to his parent's for dinner, but I felt bad so I hurry and got ready. We went to dinner and I felt miserable. I just sat there and wanted to cry. I didn't, but I really wanted to. Once we finished dinner, I started feeling okay. We had a nice visit with the family, then came home. I finished a little more cleaning then went and laid in bed. I wanted to sleep, but I knew I couldn't because of how I felt. Simon came in the room and asked if I was okay. He knew I was crying and asked what was wrong and if I needed anything. I told him I didn't feel well at all and I'm so ready to be healed.

As he laid by me with arms wrapped around me, I cried harder and harder. I told him I am so ready to get better, to do whatever I want, to have  family and to be able to enjoy life. He told me he knows I will get better and it just takes time. The longer I laid there and cried, the more frustrated I was getting. The thought I kept getting was to ask for a blessing. I kept ignoring it, then finally, the thought was so strong to ask, so I did. Of course my husband said yes. I was waiting in my room for him to get some oil and a chair. It took him longer than I thought, so I tried to get calm so I could pay close attention to my blessing.

I haven't even started telling my experience and I'm already crying. I've prayed about whether or not I needed to share this experience on my blog. I was prompted to do so. That's why I'm sharing with you all. Anyways, as Simon laid his hands upon my head and started giving me a blessing, I already felt the spirit. I was still crying, but trying to hold it together. I knew this blessing was going to be different than any other blessing I've ever been given. As the blessing continued, the spirit felt was getting stronger. I could feel my grandpa with me. (He passed away when I was 18 & we were very close). I knew he was there. And shortly after that, I felt more than just the spirit and my grandpa's presence. In my blessing, I was told to be patient and that I will be healed. I just needed to have the patience. I needed to seek my Heavenly Father especially in these hard times. I was blessed with strength, courage and faith to do things in my life. I was told to focus on my health and being a missionary. And faith to be healed. At this point, the spirit was so overwhelming I couldn't stop crying. As I felt the other presences here with me, my husband said in the blessing that angels will be with me and that they are here now. They are here to protect me now and always will be. The tears flooded down my face. I started crying harder and harder. At this point in my blessing, I KNEW without a doubt in my mind, that Heavenly Father is with me. He loves me. He knows me. He knows what I need and knows that in order for me to learn certain things, to grow and to help bless others lives, that I needed to go through all these trials. This was the most AMAZING blessing I have ever been given. I cannot say this enough. I am here to tell everyone that I have the strongest testimony of the power of the Priesthood and the healing powers of Christ. I know one day I will be healed. Even if that day is not today, it is some day. And until that day, I will do what I can to help others and to draw myself closer to Him. He is always there. This blessing is very special to me. I really was unsure about sharing it, but my promptings told me otherwise. I knew I needed to share it. I needed to share my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love the gospel and am forever grateful to have it in my life. Especially living with Lyme. I don't know what I would without it. I have hope for my life because of it. Life is such an incredible gift that we all have been given and we need to make the most of it by being the best that we can. We need to be the best example for those around us. We need to constantly be in the service of our Lord by serving others. It took me a while to realize that due to this disease I've struggled with doesn't necessarily allow me to physically help other people out all the time, but that doesn't mean I still can't do it from home. Life is a gift to each of us. It's a blessing. Don't take it for granted. I share and leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I'm so sorry this post was so long - I just had to share my story and my testimony with everyone. I hope this leaves those of you who are struggling with anything in life with even a small amount of hope and faith.

~Nicole

FB Page - *All About Lyme Holistic Healing*
Instagram - nicole_fay26

Blessings from Lyme

Guys... It's been a minutes since my last post.. I am struggling haha. It might sound weird, but I usually only write a post when I feel inspired to do so. I don't want to write every single day. I don't feel the need to. I have to wait for the inspiration to continue.. So with that said, I have found the inspiration for tonight's message.

The other day I woke up feeling AWFUL. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to stay in there all day and just sleep everything away. I just knew it was going to be a rough day. I talked myself into getting up and at least going to the couch. As I was sitting there watching television, I started crying. For a moment I thought to myself, "This is never going to end." "Am I ever going to get better?" I felt SO discouraged. I felt angry, bitter, sad, mad, you name it, I felt it.

My mom called me and we were talking. I started crying harder and just started telling her everything I was feeling. I told her how sick I was of being so sick. I didn't understand anymore why I had to go through this anymore. I just didn't get it. I wanted everything to be better. I wanted to be better. I wanted Lyme to go away. I wanted every ailment in my body to disappear. I even told my mom I didn't want to have kids. (For those of you who know me, know I LOVE kids and always have.) I told her I couldn't take care of a child feeling this way. She felt really bad. She told me I have struggled for so many years and she wished I was better. She just wanted to come take care of me. She had to go and said she would call me in a little bit to see how I was doing.

After getting off the phone with my mom, I had this thought "seek His help". I went to my bedroom and knelt down. I was sobbing. I tried as hard as I could to get my words out and say a prayer. I told Him I was sorry for not seeking Him sooner and I needed Him. I couldn't do this anymore. I need to be better so I can be a good wife and a mother some day, because that's all I want. I want to be healed so I can at least be able to take care of my future kids when it comes that time. I simply asked for help... Shortly after I started calming down and quit crying.. later that day I felt better than I had earlier.. I thought "Wow.. That's what He wanted.. He just wanted me to talk to Him.. To ask for His help."

I thought it was so silly of me to forget that He wants me to seek His helps always. There are times I am beyond exhausted and can't read or pray, or I feel too sick to do so.. But why do I keep myself from getting help?? Clearly, a simple prayer, pouring my heart out is all it takes sometimes. Not long after I had said my prayer, I got more energy. I was able to clean my house, even though I had to do a small bit at a time, rest, then do more, I was still able to get it done. As I was making my bed, I had the strongest feeling. I felt like someone was standing next to me with their hand upon my shoulder and I heard " It will be okay." I started crying again. Only this time it was a good cry. It was a cry of hope, faith and comfort.

I was able to go throughout the rest of my day without any major problems. Later that night as I laid in bed, I had a feeling to read the new Ensign for July. I was looking through the articles and one that stuck out immediately was called, "Faith in God's Plan for Me" by Jessica George. I thought that sounded perfect. This is what the article says:

A life-changing trial helped me recognize a valuable lesson I could learn from the stone quarry in Kirtland.

I grew up near Kirtland, Ohio, and have always had a strong testimony of the events that occurred at this early Church site. The Kirtland Temple, Newel K. Whitney store, and nearby John Johnson farm all have a special spirit about them. For me, however, the stone quarry is the most meaningful site.

Located just a few miles down the road from the Kirtland Temple is a calm little river. Drill marks in the rock next to the river were likely made years after the Saints left Kirtland, but those marks are still a reminder of the purpose this area served in providing stone for the temple. While growing up, I could never explain why this site had such a deep impact on me. It would be years until I understood why it did.

At the time I left to serve a mission in Argentina, my life was just the way I felt it was supposed to be. My college experience had gone well, and I planned on being able to graduate after just a couple of semesters when I returned home from my mission. But about a year into my mission, I got terribly sick and was sent home with an honorable medical release. Further tests revealed that my heart wasn’t functioning properly. My symptoms were life changing and, unfortunately, untreatable. I became so weak that I had to be in bed for most of the day. Suddenly, everything was different.

I thought about my future and wondered, “Why me? Why did this have to happen?” I felt that my desires and plans had been good, and I didn’t understand why I had to undergo a trial that changed those plans.

Time passed slowly. Weeks turned to months, months turned to years, and my health remained poor. By painfully struggling through one class at a time, I eventually finished school. Through the years, however, I began to see that while this was not the future I had anticipated, it was exactly the life God had planned for me. It was then that the importance of the stone quarry I had known from early in my life began to unfold in my mind. I could see parallels between my experience and that of the early Saints who had worked in that quarry.

Today when people visit the stone quarry, they can see the Kirtland Temple in all its glory just down the road. The early Saints did not have that privilege. Their sacrifice and work were done without the end result, the finished temple, in sight. They likely could not envision that this temple would be the first of hundreds that would fill the earth and bring eternal blessings to God’s children all over the world. They saw only the tools in their hands and the thousands of pounds of rock that needed to be removed. Yet their faith was strong, and they knew their sacrifice would bring forth great blessings.

From those early Saints I learned that in every life there must be a “stone quarry”—a time and place where we must sacrifice and work before we can see the blessings.

Although I can’t see the blessings that will come because of my trials, I know I can trust in God’s will for me. And because of the example of those early Saints working in the stone quarry, I know that if I press on, blessings will soon come into view. I am so grateful for the lesson the stone quarry taught me that I can have faith in God’s plan for me even without the end in sight.

This article was so clear to me that night. I had always had a different life planned for me. Always. I never focused so much on the life God had planned for me. And at this moment in my life, it may not be what I had planned and there has been a lot of suffering. And I'm sure there will still be more. But like Jessica mentioned in the 3rd to last paragraph, the Saints did not have the privilege of seeing the temple without all the hard work and sacrifice. This made me think about my life and my own struggles and sacrifices. I had this peaceful feeling that although I've had all these trials and tribulations, the end result will be glorious. Whether it be in this life or the next life, there will be great blessings. I too, like Jessica, have complete trust in God's plan for me. If it means going through trials to reach the glory and those incredible blessings, then all I can do is continue to pray always and not lose faith. I've learned a lot in my life and have become closer to Thee because of my trials. I may have hard days that seem like they won't end, but they will.

 And always remember:

Nicole~