Over the last week I have been started to feel better. YAY! Progress is being made! I think all the treatments and medicine is really starting to help. However, I also know that there has been a big change in me mentally and spiritually. Sometimes we can't seem to feel the spirit or have the greatest amount of faith possible, because we hit blockages. There are many different type of blockages that we get or face. Mostly, they are emotional blockages. These are things I learned a lot about during my Foot Zoning classes. It's amazing what they can do to a person. I know that my body had created a bunch of emotional and mental blockages due to the disease I have suffered with. Sometimes when we are struggling so much we can't seem to look past our trial and feel that overwhelming joy or peace that we love to feel. After visiting with my Branch President on Tuesday and receiving such an amazing blessing, something clicked. Even after all the foot zones, energy work and treatments I have had done, something else hit me.
The Hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour" came to my mind during my blessing. I knew that everything had started to work but after that blessing, I felt like I was started to get those "good feelings" back. I was feeling a "shift" in my body. The shift I had been waiting for, for a long time.
I knew I needed to go to the temple. I have been wanting to go for so long, but I just never made it. On days where I could get a ride to the temple or whatnot, I just physically couldn't do it. I either had too much pressure in my head, super dizzy, nauseous, my balance was way off, I had too much numbness/tingling or my fatigue just overtook everything. I've been praying so hard for a chance to go do some temple work. I used to go multiple times a week and I missed it so so much! I missed the feelings of peace in the temple. I missed feeling so close to Heavenly Father. Sometimes I would get so upset that I couldn't go and I would feel my faith start to fade. I knew in the back of my mind that everything always happens for a reason. And I knew this was all happening for a reason as well.
The day after my blessing, my good friend and I ran a bunch of errands. Keep in mind, I don't ever do this. It has been a long time since I've been "busy" and ran errands all day. My body has been so weak and exhausted that all I have done is just sat home or laid in bed usually. We decided we were going to the temple that day to do some temple work. I was always nervous before about trying to go, because I had fears of getting more sick while in the temple. I kept letting my fear get the best of me. But that day, I told myself nothing was going to stop me from going to the temple. I needed it. I needed to go and I needed to do temple work. I needed to serve others. As we walked into the temple I immediately felt peace and comfort. I knew I wasn't alone and that I would be okay. There were moments where I felt super hot and faint, but I kept focusing on the reason why I was there and listening to all those incredible words and blessings. I made it through initiatories and felt so excited!! I met back up with my friend, Melissa and then we headed up to the most GORGEOUS room in the Salt Lake Temple. I had never been there before. Only for my sister's sealing. Which was unbelievably amazing. As Melissa and I walked in that room and sat down, I felt that "burning in my bosom". I began to pray and the comfort and peace just kept overwhelming me. My heart was so full of gratitude. I can't express the joy I felt sitting in that room and knowing that I was there. Finally. It had been way too long and all I could think about was that moment in the temple and how nothing else mattered then. Not the disease, not the stresses, the struggles and hardships that have been going on in my life. I just knew I'd be okay and life will get better.
I promised myself that I will do whatever it takes to go to the temple as often as I can. The thought of not being able to go for months just makes me feel sad. I know that as long as I keep my faith and trust in the Lord with all my heart, I can attend the temple more frequently. I also know that this will help in my healing process. It will help me feel more peace, comfort and joy. No matter the circumstances in life, we must always remember how important it is to keep our Heavenly Father close. Pray at all times, give thanks always and we will begin to see ourselves be strengthened. Heavenly Father loves each of us. He is always there for us as long as we allow Him to be there. There is no trial or tribulation that cannot be overcome with the help of Him.
For all of you who are fighting any kind of battle right now, I pray for all of you. I hope you can continue to stay positive and always try to look at the good side of things and know that we are given certain trials for a reason. Sometimes the trials we are given, aren't even for us. They can be for other people. I'd like to think that about my trials. I feel like I've been given these things to help others. To help others strengthen their faith and to help others in their healing process.
*Just remember we can overcome all things*
Loves,
Nicole
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